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Sapling MINDS

Device Reliance Self-Soothing


Self-soothing is a particularly important area for development to give your child the tools they need to take care of themselves.

 

Soothing during times of stress is an instinctual response in everyone. In children, this instinct to self-soothe can often look like fidgeting. This will be different for every child and might include things such as biting fingernails, hair twirling, or pulling eyebrows or eyelashes. Begin to notice small actions your child takes during challenging times – I’m sure there are many actions you’ve already noticed – see what else your child might be doing as instinctual self-soothing.

 

Is all self-soothing healthy?

 

Self-soothing can take many forms. Not all of them are clear and external, and not all of them are healthy or helpful.

 

Self-soothing approaches used by your child will be constantly changing as they grow their range of emotions, and skills may also come and go as they age and have new experiences.

 

How does device reliance affect self-soothing?

 

The prevalence of electronic devices as a means to soothe children has increased. This reliance starts at school with the use of technology in the classroom and continues into the home. There is a growing reliance on electronic devices which is having an information overload impact on the brain.

 

Dr Leech from Curtin University’s Healthy Digital Child program said children are being hyper-stimulated, and their brains are not equipped nor ready to deal with the quantum of screen time provided at school and home.

 

As a parent, you may have experienced challenges trying to set screen time limits with your child, and the resultant difficult behaviours with those restrictions (which are for their health and wellbeing). It is important to remember that the part of the brain that is responsible for regulating emotions, deep thinking, reasoning, and decision making is often the last to develop.

 

Will devices offer a calming effect?

 

The famous singer and songwriter, Ed Sheeran, has gone for over 7 years without owning a phone. When asked about this by journalists he said “I got really, really overwhelmed and sad with a phone. I just spent my whole time just in a very low place. I got rid of it, and it was like a veil just lifted.” He also said the change has led him to a place of better mental health and generally, “feeling better about everything”.

 

Dr Jenny Radesky, a developmental behavioural paediatrician, suggests that the short-term calming effect of screens has an opposite long-term effect by increasing emotional reactivity.

 

During early childhood development, the use of devices for soothing and calming children may displace what would otherwise have been opportunities to develop self-soothing techniques.

 

What does this mean for self-soothing?

 

At its core, device reliance on self-soothing, is based on a distraction approach, rather than a self-soothing technique to address and process what is being felt at that moment.

 

This means that children are not learning to deal with daily stressors and emotions, and instead are likely to experience bigger reactions to those incidents. If this skill is not learnt during those early childhood development years, children are more likely to struggle when school gets stressful or during challenging interactions with peers.

 

The increased device reliance on self-soothing is creating a need for constant entertainment and distraction, which may lead to future addictions such as to social media or gaming. This lack of stillness and lack of mindfulness has a significant impact on the emotional wellbeing of children. Remember that boredom is a good thing and promotes opportunities for creativity and innovative thinking.

 

Does this mean all device use for self-soothing is bad?

 

It is important to acknowledge not all technology is equal when it comes to self-soothing. For example, the use of an iPad/tablet for the recreational reading of a novel or to play relaxation music may be a healthy coping strategy.

 

However, it is important to ensure a mix of coping strategies, including ones not using any device, are added to your child’s developmental learning and the toolkit they can draw on for future life experiences.

 

Conclusion

 

Device reliance for self-soothing is increasingly affecting children’s emotional and psychological development. As children turn to screens, such as smartphones, tablets, and computers, for comfort and distraction, they may miss out on crucial opportunities to develop natural self-soothing skills and emotional regulation.

 

This reliance can hinder their ability to cope with stress, manage emotions effectively, and engage in real-life social interactions. Prolonged screen time may lead to reduced attention spans, increased anxiety, and diminished face-to-face communication skills.

 

To counteract these effects, it’s essential for parents to encourage alternative self-soothing techniques and provide support for children to develop healthy emotional coping mechanisms without excessive dependence on digital devices.



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