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Sapling MINDS

Support Your Child to Develop Self-Soothing Techniques


Supporting your child to develop self-soothing techniques is a crucial aspect of their emotional growth and wellbeing. As they encounter various stressors and challenges, the ability to calm themselves becomes an invaluable skill. By guiding your child in learning how to self-soothe, you empower them to manage their emotions effectively, fostering resilience and independence. This process involves teaching them strategies which can help them navigate difficult situations with greater ease and confidence. Developing these techniques early on equips your child with the tools they need to maintain emotional balance and thrive in their daily lives.

 

Are there any repercussions or impacts for not developing self-soothing?


If children do not learn to self-soothe in healthy ways, this may lead to unhealthy self-soothing behaviours later in life such as acting out, being impulsive, or self-medication (drugs/alcohol) or self-harm. Action taken early to support the development of a range of self-soothing approaches, and to encourage the change of unhealthy current practices towards new, healthier options, will support positive steps towards mitigating this potential outcome.

 

What are healthy self-soothing techniques?


There are many healthy ways to self-soothe, some may resonate for you and your child, while others may be less aligned. Just like there will be more natural leanings towards certain types of coping strategies and learning styles, the same will be the case with self-soothing techniques. It’s important that you teach your child a range of different approaches to determine what will work for them.

 

Below is an initial list of suggestions:

•       Wrapping yourself up in a soft blanket

•       Cuddling a soft toy or pillow

•       Hugging and getting a hug from someone you love

•       Taking a warm bath

•       A foot massage

•       Crying

•       Making yourself a cup of hot chocolate and focusing on the warmth of the mug

•       Hugging a heat pack

•       Playing with the dog or cuddling the cat

•       Fidget objects (rings, bracelets, spinners)

 

How do I get my child to change the self-soothing techniques they use?


If your child has adopted self-soothing behaviours that you feel are less appropriate, and you wish to assist them in replacing these with new self-soothing techniques, you could invite your child to sit down with you to discuss their current behaviour without judgment. Suggest to your child to try a range of different behaviours and let them know that they have your support as they trial these new options to find something that is right for them. To demonstrate your support in both action as well as words, you may wish to offer to do a daily walk with them or offering to take them out shopping to find a fidget object.

 

Before raising this conversation, I encourage you to notice the self-soothing behaviours your child currently demonstrates and what may trigger each of the behaviours. This insight will aid you in bringing a deep understanding to the conversation, and your support in suggesting more appropriate behaviours for your child to try.

 

Conclusion


By teaching your child how to manage their emotions independently, you are equipping them with the skills to navigate life's challenges with confidence and resilience. These techniques, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, and positive self-talk, not only help in calming immediate distress but also build a foundation for long-term emotional health. As parents, our role is to guide and nurture our children in this journey, fostering a sense of inner peace and stability. Ultimately, the ability to self-soothe empowers children to face adversity with grace and strength, paving the way for a healthier, more balanced future.



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